bellatrixiabish

Loki blearily woke to his alarm clock blasting the song Wake Up by Arcade Fire. Looking down at his body he groaned, a tear of sadness and frustration falling down his cheek as he saw the same masculine body he had when he went to sleep the night before. "So, it was only a dream... One of these days I am going to make that dream come true..." He mumbled under his breath as he opened his dresser drawer, opening the hidden compartment where he kept his en femme clothes. These clothes consisted of a few pairs of panties as well as a few sports bras. You see, Loki had a secret: he, or rather she was secretly a transwoman. She had always felt wrong in her body, but until she hit puberty she didn't exactly understand what was off about her body. When she hit puberty she had a very jolting and depressing realization. That realization was that the sense of wrongness she had felt all her life was because she was a girl born with a boy's body. ---Flashback---(trigger warning: violence) Thinking back, she recalls the moment she came to this realization. Seeing as she had been raised as a boy she had missed out on doing so many things simply because everyone who looked at her saw her as a boy, things she had thoroughly enjoyed doing or desperately wanted to do such as wearing her mother's old clothes when she played dress up, playing with barbies or wearing perfume and dresses and skirts. When she realized this it made her depressed and as she kept thinking about it she came to a horrible assumption: her family and friends would most likely be disgusted with her or even worse they would abandon her if they found out she felt like she should have been born female. Now, I need to tell you that back then she had been doing all that thinking as she was emptying the dishwasher. As her thought process came to this conclusion she was starting to feel more and more trapped, like she was living in a fleshy unbreakable prison. The more trapped she felt the more frustrated she got. At some point she grabbed the butcher knife and as she turned to put the knife away her frustration was rapidly turning into anger, so much so that her grip on the knife handle was so tight that her knuckles were turning white. At this moment she was so deep in her thoughts that she was unable to hear her mother who had been trying to get her attention for several minutes and had gotten so frustrated with Loki seemingly ignoring her that she had resorted to yelling Loki's name. Upon hearing her mother pretty much yell her name at her Loki, who was still holding the knife in her hand let out a primal scream of pure rage and for the next few minutes she literally saw red. Loki vaguely registered taking a swing at her mother with the knife before her vision became completely red. While her vision was red all she registered was anger and the cathartic action of chopping, stabbing and swinging the knife at stuff. When her vision cleared of the redness she broke down sobbing. Sometime between screaming and coming back to her senses somebody had called the police and an officer had apparently both disarmed her and pinned her to the floor on her stomach as he pinned her arms behind her back. After she calmed down a bit from sobbing to silent tears and the occasional hiccup she looked around the room and saw the aftermath: her mother off to the side talking to the officer worried a dining room chair missing and a HUGE mess of toothpick sized splinters. ---Flashback end--- Sighing she put a pair of panties and a sports bra on. "That is in the past. You cannot change the past, Sylvie. So just move forward with the present into the future." She mutters under her breath before putting on a pair of sweatpants and a sweater. Closing the drawer and putting on a pair of tennis shoes she stands up and takes a deep breath before heading to the kitchen to grab some breakfast. Looking down at her watch she realizes that she is late and Races out the door to catch the school bus, only as she gets to the end of her driveway she sees the bus drive past her cul-de-sac. Dropping an f-bomb she groans, picks up her pace and runs to school."of course I miss the bus on the last day of school!" Racing away at top speed in a bad mood she very nearly runs out in traffic when she notices an 18 wheeler careen down the road towards the intersection; directly towards her high school crush... Not even pausing to think she keeps up her speed and body slams into the girl, pushing her out of the path of the runaway truck. About a millisecond later she realized the predicament she had literally thrown herself into. "Well fu..." she exclaimed before the truck barrels into her sending her body flying roughly 20 feet away, decapitating her. -meanwhile in the realm of the gods-